That April Report On Penis Trafficking

Warri based lawyer and activist, Jesutega Onokpasa in this piece reexamines the recent report on the trafficking of penis from Africa to China situating the report against in the context of past and present prejudices against the African continet

When the story of shiploads of thousands of penes (penises) in containers on the high sea first broke, my initial impression was that it had to be a joke or at any rate, fake news.

Then a lawmaker reiterated it on the floor of the House with respect to an intervention he sought to make regarding organ trafficking. My gut reaction was to wonder how a federal parliamentarian could be so naive as to have fallen for a story of numberless penises on their way to China!

Indeed, I had wondered, what is anyone going to do with another man’s prick, anyway? I wasn’t even aware as yet that a penis transplant had ever been successfully undertaken anywhere in the world so decided to check and was quite amazed to discover it is actually possible though apparently carried out less than ten times worldwide thus far!

Instructively, the first attempt at transplanting a penis was carried out in 2006 in China, the same country mentioned as the destination of the shipload of phalluses that was allegedly later intercepted and declared not quite fit for purpose!

The transplant was performed upon a young Chinese man who happened to had incurred truly harrowing damage to his organ. Unfortunately, though the penis ended up working manageably well enough, according to the doctor, the gentleman, nevertheless, came to resent having another man’s penis, quite apart from the fact that his wife wasn’t quite thrilled with it, after all!

Rather hastily, in my opinion, the patient requested the penis to be removed just two weeks after installation. I do not know what became of the poor young man but wouldn’t be at all surprised if his marriage collapsed soon thereafter.

Subsequently, penile transplants have been carried out in South Africa, mostly with respect to patients associated with botched circumcisions, and, in America, with a focus on veterans.

But, what might one really make of this story of organs intercepted on board a Chinese vessel? Contrary to the naivety and deplorable uncritical-mindedness of people like the trade unionist, Owei Lakemfa and former Anambra State Governor, Peter Obi, both of whom rather stupefyingly approach the Chinese with a deep-seated inferiority complex, see Chinamen as superior to Black Africans, and, akin to demigods to be worshipped by black people, truth is, the average Chinese is intrinsically racist and most primitively prejudiced against black people, a medieval inclination which first famously manifested back in the Eighties with respect to the AIDS pandemic.

Even if Peter Obi, whose strong suit was never history, sociology or international politics and usually doesn’t quite know what he’s talking about, happens not to be aware of that truly shameful episode in Sino-African relations, certainly Lakemfa is, however much he would rather prefer to be silent about Chinese racism, apparently in deference to his Middle Kingdom puppeteers.

In any case, the perfidious disposition of the Chinese to black people has been evident to all and ubiquitously so across Africa in recent decades where they have systematically commenced upon the rabid, predatory and most parasitic recolonization of the continent to the dreadful decimation of its natural environment and biodiversity with horrific implications for its future.

This is quite apart from the brazen and full-blown racism perpetrated against Africans in China in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic even though it was the Chinese, themselves, who unleashed the socially dislocating disease on the rest of the world in the first place!

Dismissive as I remain inclined to, regarding the news report, I couldn’t confidently put it pass the Chinese to transport other people’s penises half way across the world given their propensity for trafficking in all manner of rare, banned and endangered materials and commodities all over the globe. But, what could they possibly want with thousands of foreigners’ penises? Besides, given their irretrievably racist dispositions, what do they want with a black man’s prick, in particular?

One of the South Africans who underwent a transplant was a black man who had ended up with a penis donated by a white man and so had to have his new member darkened by his doctor to avoid the inconvenient scenario of a black man being stuck with a white man’s prick dangling between his legs!

While it could be imagined that it might not be too onerous a medical challenge to tint a white member to a dark hue, one cannot help contemplating how much collateral damage might be done in the process of bleaching a black man’s equipment to the extent of turning it yellow enough as not to alarm a Chinese woman, sending her racing in quite a fright out of the room whenever it was deployed!

Some versions of the penis trafficking story that were brought to my attention had it that as many as hundreds of thousands of phalluses were intercepted by Chinese Customs! Good God! Where could such a highly alarming number of penises have been harvested from in the first place?

Whose pricks are these, anyway? How were the logistics accomplished? Can it really be that the Chinese have so thoroughly perfected their smuggling networks across Africa as to be able to mop up every dead man’s penis in sight and proceed to export same at random from our continent undetected and unchallenged?

Yes, there are more than seven hundred million men in China but how many of them could possibly have lost their equipment and are thus in need of black men’s members? Yes, China is a most pathetically opaque and shamelessly secretive place but could they really have sustained such a quantum of penile damage that so many of their citizens are in quite a panic, earnestly hoping and praying, desperately waiting for a penis to come their way?

And could they really be so desperate that despite their prejudices, just any penis would do, including those imported wholesale from Africa?

Is there really an international black market for illicit penises and then, such a scarcity of penises from elsewhere like the Koreas, Vietnam, Thailand, Japan and other neighbouring countries that they had to come all the way to Africa as a last resort?

In any case, how many people, even in the worst case scenario, could possibly lose their members on a yearly basis in supposedly socialist China that there are not enough phalluses to go round from willing donors from amongst their fellow Chinese countrymen who died that year?

The story still strikes me as an elaborated joke, given its obviously incredible particulars and the fact that it apparently first came to the fore on or about April 1st and thus April Fool’s Day. Nevertheless, one hardly knows what to believe or what not to believe in this present age.

What I certainly know is that Black people have suffered much at the hands of the rest of the world starting with the Arabs, who, similar to the Chinese, are intrinsically racist and were, in fact, the first outsiders to enlave blacks and transport them out of Africa.

Our people have suffered the Transatlantic Slave Trade, endured unbridled racism and heinous discrimination in the diaspora, and, been subjected to the humiliation of colonisation, neocolonialism and Apartheid on the continent of Africa, despite being the Mothership of the entire human race.

Given all we have lost and have been taken from us, that our very penises might apparently have now become articles of trafficking to China and God only knows where else, should not even be imaginable much less tolerable. If a black man will not take a stance for anything else, for God’s sake let him at least stand to be counted on the side of his God given penis!

Onokpasa, a lawyer, wrote from Warri.

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