Wives’ Slap: Shehu Sani, Others Counter Emir Sanusi

The 16th Emir of Kano, Muhammad Sanusi II, has sparked controversy after advising his daughters to stand up against domestic violence by returning any slap they receive from their husbands.

Sanusi made these comments during the National Dialogue Conference on Gender-Based Violence (GBV) prevention, where he also shared concerning statistics. He pointed out that domestic violence cases made up 45% of the cases heard in nine Shari’a courts in Kano over the past five years.

Many Nigerians, however, have strongly disagreed with the Emir’s advice. Former lawmaker Shehu Sani was among those who spoke out, arguing that encouraging retaliatory violence is wrong. He stated, “His Highness Sanusi should not be encouraging this kind of domestic violence in the form of slapping and slapping back. Instead, husbands and wives should learn to control their anger.” He suggested that when anger arises, both partners should take a moment to calm down—husbands should walk away when upset, and wives should remain quiet to avoid escalating the situation. Sani added that the phrase “I’m sorry” can help ease tension and prevent the situation from spiraling into violence.

Sani further warned, “When slapping back becomes the norm, the marriage is irreversibly destroyed, even if they stay together.” He emphasized the importance of finding peaceful resolutions and criticized the behavior of some women who, according to him, tolerate mistreatment from others after leaving their marriages. He questioned whether growing up in an environment where physical violence was present should guide future relationships.

Social media users also reacted to Sanusi’s statement. One user, @afrotrax, agreed that no one should tolerate violence but believed that retaliating could worsen the situation. They suggested that instead of promoting violence, society should focus on empowering women with resources and support systems to help them escape abuse safely. “Ending the cycle of violence starts with changing societal attitudes,” the user noted.

Another user, @siazubuike, encouraged women not to follow Sanusi’s advice. They suggested that if a woman is slapped, she should report the incident to the authorities rather than resorting to physical retaliation. “Never slap back or endanger yourself,” they advised. @jayneraphael_ pointed out the double standard, noting that men often complain when women retaliate but fail to consider the harm they cause first.

Other responses, like @kpapkando’s, cautioned that “slap for slap” could lead to unintended consequences, while also questioning why this matter was being discussed publicly instead of being handled privately within the family. @AbiodunOlorire added that while Sanusi is an Emir, his advice should not be viewed as promoting violence, emphasizing the need for clarity in these discussions. Meanwhile, @anasuachara argued that “an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind,” stressing that violence should never be the answer and that dialogue, or in extreme cases, divorce, should be pursued.

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