6 Things You Must Not Say To Someone Who Is Angry

Anger is a hard emotion to witness and because we genuinely care about these people, we want to help them to feel better and hence niceties are required to approach someone who is angry.

Unfortunately, in efforts to say the right thing, we can end up making things worse by saying exactly what the other person doesn’t need to hear. Here are a few words  to avoid telling them.

You’re overreacting/being too sensitive

Whatever they’re feeling is very real to them and for you to say something that dismisses those emotions is very invalidating.

If you continue to act like this, there will be consequences

Ultimatums are never the way to diffuse an argument. In fact, they will usually have the opposite effect. The other person will only feel pressured by your words and probably react harshly.

You’re acting crazy

Not only does the term “crazy” perpetuate stigma around mental illness, dismissing someone’s feelings as irrational is disrespectful and invalidating.

You’re wrong

When someone is angry, telling them that they’re wrong distracts from the issue and ignites protective instincts that will only further the argument.

What’s wrong with you?

When people are angry, they can also feel defensive and feel a need to protect themselves. When you say something like, What’s wrong with you?, you’re telling them that their anger is not a normal response to the situation.

You need to calm down

This request is not only invalidating but also rather impossible. Anger produces a physical as well as psychological response. They may be unable to calm down immediately. Telling someone to ‘calm down’ is not effective.

When a person is angry or upset, there are underlying emotions there that are more prevalent. These can include grief, disappointment, or sadness. Try to target those emotions instead of anger.

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