Why You Should Never Force Your Children Into Marriage

A consultant psychologist, Mr Christian Ibeaka, has advised parents not to force their children into marriage to avoid broken homes.

The Director, Cognize and Resolve Consult, which counsels on various human relationships, gave the advice while speaking with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Monday in Enugu.

Ibeaka said that most parents made choices for their children on who to marry even when such children were not interested in, and in love with one another.

According to him, such practice has made many marriages to crash as the couples find it extremely difficult to accommodate their spouses as the union progresses.

“Parents should avoid forcing their children into marriage but allow them to chose their partners and make their lifetime decisions.

“We need to live normal in our environment and take effective control of it as well as manage our homes for successful marriage.

“It is unwise for couples to divorce because of economic issues in the country or issues they harbour.

“Morally also, it is not proper for couples to divorce but if one succeeds and goes to another home, there are high tendencies for another divorce if counselling does not take place.

“It is the way you ‘package’ yourself that makes your marriage work,” Ibeaka said.

He emphasised the need for couples to undergo necessary counselling before entering into family vocation.

According to him, incidences that lead to ‘dryness’ in marriage start early, before manifesting in what couples cannot control in later days.

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Ibeaka identified wrong attitudes of some parents towards marriage and wrong orientation they gave to their children before marriage as serious causes of divorce.

“Some divorce matters today started 2-3 years back before they were made public while some started immediately after wedding.

“Couples need to check themselves, know what the problems are, and find out ways to sort them out,” he said.

The expert attributed non-disclosure of certain health conditions by spouses as another cause of broken marriages.

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