Lifestyle
5 Crucial Questions To Answer Before Forgiving A Cheating Partner
It is easy to forgive but always difficult to forget, especially a cheating partner who broke your heart. In this article, GWG.ng explains some crucial questions you must answer before saying ‘I forgive you’ to that cheating partner that hurt you.
1. What do you do?
He keeps calling, saying it was a one-time mistake. He begs, cries, and even shows up at your door, desperately apologising. Your heart softens at this display of remorse. You still love him, but can you truly forgive? Will he repeat his transgressions? Can you really trust this son of Adam again?
Before making your final decision, discuss these five crucial questions with your partner. These will help you determine if he’s truly worth forgiving:
2. Why did they do it?
A one-time incident with genuine reasons is generally easier to forgive than a consistent cheating pattern or a long-term affair. Take a moment to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Try to understand their feelings and the circumstances they were in that led them to cheat. Can you empathise with their perspective? It’s important to note however that if someone has developed a habit of being a serial cheater, best believe they will continue to do it, again and again, no matter how many times they have apologised.
3. Was your relationship healthy prior to the cheating?
You’ll be much more likely to forgive if you were aware your partner was unhappy, the relationship wasn’t great and there were suspicions. But if you believed you were happy and didn’t notice any signs that anything was wrong, rebuilding trust becomes harder. When there were no clues in the past, it’s difficult to be certain it won’t happen again, which makes the decision to forgive and move forward even more challenging.
4. What will they do if they are in the same predicament in future?
Beyond the tears and apologies, it is important to consider what concrete assurances your partner can provide to prevent future cheating. What guarantees can they give you that it won’t happen again? Can they demonstrate a genuine commitment to change and ensure a different response? Are they willing to work through their own struggles? Assessing their readiness to take responsibility and make meaningful changes is important before deciding whether forgiveness is possible.
5. Have you always been honest with each other?
Was he someone you could trust?
It may feel like a stretch right now, particularly since you’ve been shocked by the news of your partner stepping out of the confines of your relationship. Trust will need to need to be rebuilt, there’s no doubt about that. But if you have a history of honesty and transparency in your relationship, and you feel you’ve been able to trust one another in the past, it’s possible to view it as a one-time incident. A person’s character or personality doesn’t change dramatically overnight, so if you still see the person you fell in love with and trust their remorse, giving them a chance may be worth considering.
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