Issues From Man Who Divorced Wife Attended To By Male Doctor – Save Life First

Medical doctors in many parts of the world, including Nigeria, are required to take the Hippocratic Oath. The Hippocratic Oath is “an oath stating the obligations and proper conduct of doctors, formerly taken by those beginning medical practice.”

Under this oath, “the first duty of a doctor is do no harm.” This includes saving lives. I am not certain if other medical practitioners take a similar oath, but whether or not they do, the primary duty of a medical practitioner is the wellbeing of a patient.

As we say in Urhobo, ame rot’osho jiti’ivwrite (The same water washes the penis and the scrotal sack). So Hippocratic Oath or not, you have that obligation.

A medical practitioner handled an emergency case and a young mother had a safe delivery. This professional act of saving the life of mother and her new born baby has put a marriage asunder. The story was widely reported by many media outlets, but faded out almost immediately because there is always a breaking news in Nigeria and no story hugs the limelight for long. But the fact that the story was widely reported means it is odd.

The story was that a man in Katsina State reportedly divorced his 14-year-old wife for allowing a male medical practitioner attend to her during childbirth.  She was reported to have developed complications, something common with under aged pregnant girls, while in labour.

She was rushed to the hospital but no female medical practitioner was available to attend to her. Consequently, a male medical practitioner who was available attended to her and safely delivered the teenager of her baby thus saving her from death during childbirth. Initially, the husband was elated but got infuriated when he learnt that a male doctor attended to her. Promptly, he divorced her.

This sad news was disclosed by the Executive Director of Nana Women and Girls Empowerment Initiative, Dr. Fatima Adamu, in Abuja, while speaking as a keynote speaker at the Human Resources for Health Production Dialogue.

I want to thank Dr. Adamu for her humanitarian work and revealing this news to Nigerians. But I am also not happy with her. Rather than condemn this insensitive behaviour of this man, she focused her attention on governments, especially state governments, urging them to ensure that there was equity in the recruitment and deployment of medical personnel to rural communities. I agree with her, especially in the north where many husbands insist that only female medical personnel must attend to their wives.

But the issue here is an insensitive man who was more interested in the gender of the medical practitioner than the wellbeing of his wife. He should be totally condemned without excuses. What he did is morally reprehensible. There should be no “if” or “but.”

This was an emergency, not the usual ante-natal for God’s sake. We should call a spade a spade. What this man did is despicable and should be condemned. The primary duty of medical officer is the wellbeing of patients. That supersedes religious, personal or other beliefs. I cannot see what was wrong with what the medical attendant or the teenage mother did. Should she have rejected being attended to by the male medical practitioner and die with the baby? If we want to make progress as a society, we must call a spade a spade.

Some Nigerians hold beliefs that put their lives and the lives of their relatives at risk, especially during emergencies. There are people who do not subscribe to blood transfusion and other practices meant strictly to save lives. Many lives have been lost through such stiff-necked beliefs and practices.

One particularly sad and annoying case was a sickle cell carrier. She was in crisis and needed blood transfusion. The family refused. They were still trying to convince them when she died. With due apologies to your religious beliefs, allowing a relative to die in such avoidable circumstances is evil, meaningless and cruel.

Down South some Muslim women register for ante-natal in clinics and hospitals where only female medical professionals attend to them. I have absolutely no problem with that. Freedom of choice is very important. Some Christian women also insist on only female medical personnel. The issue above was an emergency situation where the woman could have died.

Saving the life of his wife and the baby should have been uppermost in his mind. When my wife had our first child, the team had two male doctors and a female doctor. I was with them throughout in the labour room.

Childbirth is a bloody and nude affair. Hence the popular saying that “pregnant woman nor dey  wear pant for labour room.” “Na for nakedness the belle take enter, na for nakedness e take dey comot.”  For me, I was going to be a father for the first time, the safety of my wife and child and the excitement of fatherhood were all I was concerned with.

By the way, while some girls start menstruating at age 10, some experts advise that the best time for women to start getting pregnant is from age 20. Age 18 upwards looks fine from my personal observation.

Many of the Vesicovaginal fistula (VVF) cases we have all over the world are as a result of damage caused to young girls while giving birth at an early age. In many cases of VVF worldwide, the men abandon the girls once the complications start. A “vesicovaginal fistula is an abnormal opening that forms between the bladder and the wall of the vagina.” VVF often happens to young girls who start childbearing too early.

It might be more prevalent in some parts of Nigeria, but it cuts across like early marriage. My mother told me that at 21 years, when she got married, much younger girls, some as young as 15 were already married. Girl-child education has helped significantly in reducing girl-child marriages because sensible parents allow their daughters to at least complete their secondary education before marriage. At that time she would be at least 16 to 18 years. That is still early to me, but at least they are biologically more developed than a 14-year-old. Ignorance and poverty remain major causes of early marriage.

I know child marriage is a very sensitive religious and cultural matter, but wetin 14 year-old girl know sef? Beyond a vagina that is big enough to accommodate a penis, what else? Does she know what marriage is?

Can she navigate the slippery terrain of marriage, a terrain where even adults fall with impunity? As I was writing, news broke that the Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, has announced his separation from his wife, Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, after 18 years of marriage. Marriage no be beans.

How does a child-mother raise a child? Does she understand motherhood and parenthood? It goes far beyond lactating and being able to stick a nipple into the baby’s mouth. Societies that set age of consent and majority (the age of consent when you are considered an adult) are not stupid. Let us move beyond some of these archaic practices. This is 2023.

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